It's official. I have survived the first full week.
It felt like five weeks, to be honest. It kept bringing my mind back to an article that I read my first year teaching about the stages I was going through.
Phase 1: Anticipation
Phase 2: Survival
Phase 3: Disillusionment
Phase 4: Rejuvination
Phase 5: Reflection
Phase 6: Anticipation
I definitely spent the last of July and beginning of August in anticipation mode. But I was anticipating the worst. I guess that's the difference with the second year of the phases.
I already feel myself in survival mode. I am getting here early (hello, 7:00 am!) and staying late. I am already getting by on the skin of my teeth, seeing what works and doesn't work with these kids. We have a new grading system that I am very nervous about. I am teaching three novels I have never taught before. Basically, I have been a nervous wreck.
Now, lets talk about some positive things:
1. I like my classes. There is one that has already been troublesome, but I'll take one out of six any day. I do have to keep in mind that it is only the second week of school, and others are bound to show their true colors, but I feel like I've already been more assertive this year.
2. My co-teacher is great in many aspects. Namely, he knows what he's talking about. He can truly help the students in need without first having to teach himself.
3. I feel more comfortable here. I don't feel ready to tear my hair out and cry yet. I still feel like the new kid on the block and likely will for the rest of the year, but that is to be expected.
4. I only have one in-class grad class this semester, so I will only have to go to class on Thursdays. This is nice because I can just do the other work on my own time. And I ended up being able to take 7 hours, which makes my goal of finishing grad school in July seem that much more attainable. I would love to start next year with my masters under my belt and not have to worry about being a teacher and a student.
5. I feel a renewed desire to finally finish editing and re-writing my novel. I was speaking to my dad this weekend and he didn't let me use any excuses when I was talking about it. He told me that the only way I was going to know if it was possible to publish it is to try. He told me the story about Stephen King throwing the Carrie manuscript away because he was so frustrated and downtrodden. His wife dug it out and made him finish it. I have to keep this in mind when I find spare time to write.
So, I will try to keep up with the "phases" throughout the year. Hopefully disillusionment won't hit me hard. Maybe knowing its coming will ease some of its wrath?
