Undoubtedly, one of the evils of teaching (as with many other professions, I'm sure) is meetings. And one of the downsides to being a new teacher is orientation. I thought I was in the clear this year (I should have known better). Yet, there it was, sitting in my inbox this morning. "GREETINGS!" My stomach sank. Yep, 8-5 smack dab in the middle of our beach vacation.
In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. But three days notice? Really?
So now, as my family is lounging on the beach, drinking margaritas on the patio at the bar, I will be sitting in a cramped room under flickering fluorescent lights for nine hours. Then I will trudge home and we will drive the five hours to the beach, only to have to drive back in a day and a half.
I swear I'm not always this negative. I appreciate the chance to go to the beach at all. And I'm so thankful to have a job.
I just can't feel a little pang of disappointment every time I look at my calendar.
My second thought this morning after extreme frustration? This is a lesson in sacrifice. I have to learn to adjust. Most of all, I need to learn to stay positive even in the most disappointing of situations.
So, I will go in on Thursday and attempt to stay positive.
Ugh.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Trial Run
Today, some of the freshman came in to get their schedules and particiapte in a mock run of their day.
I had a few show up, some sweet, frightened kids. A couple hyper ones. Overall, it made me realize just how unprepared I am mentally right now.
I've been in the mindset the last two years that I don't belong. I don't have a "home" where I can be comfortable to be myself. It makes me really worried. I NEED to treat this school as if it is my home. I need to build those relationships and be myself. Not my anxious self, my friendly, confident self.
Also, I'm going through stuff and planning my units and there is SO MUCH I want to do. Fun, interactive activities. But if I can't handle facilitating these activities, we won't be able to do them.
I think it's good that I'm concerned about this now. I just need to do something about it. All of the other teachers on the hall were jumping on the opportunity to lay the law down a little. I attempted it, but they were just so nervous!
One of my main goals this year is to maintain a classroom that is:
1. Under Control (by me, obviously)
2. Organized
3. Positive
This is the ideal classroom... I'd settle for 1 and a smidge of 2 and 3.
It is my third year teaching (though I've only taught 1 1/2 years, it feels like my third or fourth). I should be able to do this. I know what problems to anticipate, I just have to have the COURAGE and BACKBONE to nip them in the butt.
10 Days until Pre-Planning...
I had a few show up, some sweet, frightened kids. A couple hyper ones. Overall, it made me realize just how unprepared I am mentally right now.
I've been in the mindset the last two years that I don't belong. I don't have a "home" where I can be comfortable to be myself. It makes me really worried. I NEED to treat this school as if it is my home. I need to build those relationships and be myself. Not my anxious self, my friendly, confident self.
Also, I'm going through stuff and planning my units and there is SO MUCH I want to do. Fun, interactive activities. But if I can't handle facilitating these activities, we won't be able to do them.
I think it's good that I'm concerned about this now. I just need to do something about it. All of the other teachers on the hall were jumping on the opportunity to lay the law down a little. I attempted it, but they were just so nervous!
One of my main goals this year is to maintain a classroom that is:
1. Under Control (by me, obviously)
2. Organized
3. Positive
This is the ideal classroom... I'd settle for 1 and a smidge of 2 and 3.
It is my third year teaching (though I've only taught 1 1/2 years, it feels like my third or fourth). I should be able to do this. I know what problems to anticipate, I just have to have the COURAGE and BACKBONE to nip them in the butt.
10 Days until Pre-Planning...
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
New Job
My name is Jessica. I currently have three roles in life: teacher, writer, and girlfriend. I will explain more about these later. For now, I want to talk about something that is currently consuming my world.
I got a teaching position. My third school in three years. I was never fired, always asked back, but I never quite fit (I'm still hoping it's them, not me). I will be teaching 9th, 10th, and 11th grade. I will also be taking two grad school classes. Am I crazy? Quite possibly.
I went into the school today to plan with the department. I entered with a mix of anxiety and hope. I left with even more anxiety and a knot in my throat. I thought I had adjusted my expectations enough that I wouldn't set myself up for failure, but I was still crushed. Part of this may have to do with the fact that I didn't sleep much last night. I also have to remember that I'm the new teacher. I'm the youngest in the department by a good five years. I am just so eager to fit. I am so eager to be able to choose what classes I want to teach and have students who have a passion for learning. But I must resign myself to the fact that this is a few years away.
Right now, I'm paying my dues. I'm teaching the lowest level students, and I'm going to try my hardest to help them. It will be the biggest challenge of my life, but I will try. For them and for me. I have as much to prove to myself as I do to the school.
I keep running through a list of non-negotiables in my head. No talking out of turn. No cellphones or headphones. No refusing to do work. I run through them as if I'm going to forget them. Really, I need a way to get them out of my head and into my students' heads. No talking when I'm talking. It's my biggest pet peeve. The students are always talking, either because they're comfortable in the class, or they're really bored. I am going to try my best to tackle this problem early this year. It's a fine line - supportive teacher and disciplinarian. I've heard it's something that comes with time and experience. Could this be the year for me?
It's July 24th. I'm one day into my new job. And I'm exhausted.
I got a teaching position. My third school in three years. I was never fired, always asked back, but I never quite fit (I'm still hoping it's them, not me). I will be teaching 9th, 10th, and 11th grade. I will also be taking two grad school classes. Am I crazy? Quite possibly.
I went into the school today to plan with the department. I entered with a mix of anxiety and hope. I left with even more anxiety and a knot in my throat. I thought I had adjusted my expectations enough that I wouldn't set myself up for failure, but I was still crushed. Part of this may have to do with the fact that I didn't sleep much last night. I also have to remember that I'm the new teacher. I'm the youngest in the department by a good five years. I am just so eager to fit. I am so eager to be able to choose what classes I want to teach and have students who have a passion for learning. But I must resign myself to the fact that this is a few years away.
Right now, I'm paying my dues. I'm teaching the lowest level students, and I'm going to try my hardest to help them. It will be the biggest challenge of my life, but I will try. For them and for me. I have as much to prove to myself as I do to the school.
I keep running through a list of non-negotiables in my head. No talking out of turn. No cellphones or headphones. No refusing to do work. I run through them as if I'm going to forget them. Really, I need a way to get them out of my head and into my students' heads. No talking when I'm talking. It's my biggest pet peeve. The students are always talking, either because they're comfortable in the class, or they're really bored. I am going to try my best to tackle this problem early this year. It's a fine line - supportive teacher and disciplinarian. I've heard it's something that comes with time and experience. Could this be the year for me?
It's July 24th. I'm one day into my new job. And I'm exhausted.
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